In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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