yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
