They should really pass out barf bags in church
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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