she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
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