All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
