my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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