dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
