I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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