went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
