Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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