Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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