oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
