I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
