take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
