found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
