i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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