ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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