i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
