it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
