Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
