covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
