i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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