if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
