I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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