I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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