can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
