i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Randomize