Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
be right there i have to get my cape
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
