i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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