so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Randomize
