i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
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