If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Randomize
