dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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