I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
