Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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