i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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