you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
