Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
