So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize