Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
