i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Randomize
