So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
