I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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