My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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