God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
