you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
