Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
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He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Houston, we have a squirter
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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