May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
