turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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