I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
