I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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