OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
