It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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