i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
