Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
