someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
