Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
