I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
