I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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