8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
It's never too late to be topless.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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