I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
