Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
